roadkill

A few weeks ago, I brought an inflatable Esso tiger punching thingy to class because we were doing a poem for lit. The girls were allowed to come up in front and hit it (to vent anger of any kind). Some were shy. But I remember one who came up and started hitting the Tiger over and over against the teacher’s table.

The whole class laughed and cheered.

“Do you feel better now?” I asked her after that, vaguely amused by her candidness (but quietly glad that she had an outlet to vent her frustrations/anger/hurt/disappointments).

“Huh? Oh yes, miss woo. Not okay but better la. Better”.

Today, I woke up also wanting to punch the Esso Tiger and feel better.

Lately, I have been feeling a little out of sorts. (Am currently making an effort to capitalise all my ‘I’s because many of my girls think that it is alright to dot their ‘i’s because it is in the middle of the sentence!) While the week has been good and busy because the exams are coming up and I am harried and harrowed and hurrying to get them in tip top shape for english exams this friday, I was hit with a sense of spiritual dryness when the weekend came. I think I haven’t been thinking much, really. Always doing things to fill up my time, to make sure that I have no free space (because I don’t really have much of an opportunity to rest anyway) and make the effort to go out on weekdays for nice dinners take up all energy required to pause and reflect. I know of some who say it’s bad to think, but I know that I feel the emptiness, the sense of loss and meaningless in life when I kinda kick God out. Or neglect Him. So now I am wandering around, a little blindly, trying to figure out WHAT AM I ON EARTH FOR? And so Sunday was good because although Di and I took a slight de-tour away from church…we went to have nice homemade ice-cream and had reverso chocolate, and tried to just spend some alone time (with each other, which is kind of ironic). And doing a little mini bible study homework that I have been avoiding. Romans is, however, surprisingly mind-stimulating and I am reminded of all our OCF debates and V-u-i k-i-a-n and cell group. =) Meeting up with trinity pals like lina and Ray (after 6 years!) was awesome. We later adjourned to Harry’s Bar for a spontaneous late-night chill before school which made me feel absolutely horrid but wonderfully wild because I had to get up at 6 the next day. (haha, i gain little pleasures, so humour me.) Just came from another monday morning of lit class and I’m frantically trying to finish marking. oh boy. LONG WEEK AHEAD. =) And by the way, I received 2 STIKFAS superhero figurines and have placed them on my staff room table to motivate myself. I CAN DO IT. I CAN DO IT. I CAN DO IT…..