Daily Archives: July 28, 2006

updates of the week

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>> We had an eventful Thursday Dinner with jacqngiam and husbandtobe @ club street. we met 10 different people who didnt know each other, all holding 10 different jobs. i love to meet new people, it’s as if i’m collecting stories. and so, it was a night of cultural exchange about nagaland, passionate watchcollecting, getting married and engagement episodes. i’m so happy for you dear (even tho i know u dont read this)! CONGRATULATIONS JACQ AND FELIX!>> We see policecars outside school yesterday and pupils on bail today and you wonder what and where and when you might ever see them again. i am starting to realise why i am where i am (for now), and despite tiring slash exhausting days, i cannot bear to give up on them.

>> change is exhilarating and spinetingling. it’s scary feeling more settled and mellowed because i never was. that’s what age and experiences do to you i guess. you just want to watch dvds with favourite people, drink teh tahrik or icelemontea, and you don’t mind walking all around singapore with nothing to do. growingold is nice and i cannot wait to turn twentysix (so that i have more life-encounters in my belt).

having finally reconciled things with god, there is freedom admist circumstances.

thensingsmysoul

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Life has been nothing short of eventful these past few months but I know that Jesus loves me. again and again…over and over. (: how nice. I have, for the past one year, ignored him/abandoned him and deliberately chose to live a life that was different and not godhonouring. I was cynical and walked paths that should never be taken at times and not have had the courage to make decisions that i knew were right. And so I can only testify of His grace, because it is never too late. Amazinglovehowcanitbe. I now understand how it is to be a new creation (the old has gone). It doesn’t mean that situations get easier, but I know who holds tomorrow.

“ We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish? His purpose is the process itself.

What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” ( Mark 6:49 ). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God. God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.”

It is even more amazing looking at how things have changed and noticing the renewing of the heart. I’m learning of God’s faithfulness day by day and it makes me excited. oh, what have i been missing? I am reminded to claim new mercies for tommorow.