when i sit quietly in class and just look on as the kids fling themselves against the wall

when the television is on and i don’t feel excited

…there has been a quiet desperation for peace. for one day of quiet. to feel appreciated in class if only for a day because sometimes you do so much and give up so much of yourself to the little ones who, in no fault of their own, survive and live only for themselves. yet, i know i am to love and to be patient because INVESTING is good. so, im struggling and learning to be more patient everyday, which is definitely making my life interesting because i’ve never EVER known that while i desire so much to hang the short ones by the ceiling fan (i say this affectionately), i love them just the same and can’t bring myself to throw.in.the.towel.

OHMMY my heart is so tired. i need REST! again, there is a constant reminder that i need no affirmation because all these assurance should come from God. so even if there are no results, look at Him look at Him, because He goes before me and never behind me. CG has been great in digging us out from the grave.

P/S While I am exhausted and feeling like roadkill, there is somehow a nagging thought that all these learning of Patience will be brought to good use in other areas of my life as well. Harhar. Oh God, renew me and teach me something more each day.

Still learning…
And seriously. I have no idea how they can fling themselves against the wall, get hurt, and then get into another fight altogether because they thought someone else had pushed them (first) towards the concrete wall.

Bugger.