I am opting for a quiet saturday afternoon in front of the tv/computer today because it’s been a long while since I’ve had the time to lie on the couch and do nothing. Right now I’m starting to speak in sentences I don’t understand and falling asleep by the keyboards. But it’s a nice quiet day and I’m not willing to call it a night yet. Maybe later.

So I woke up at 7am this morning to attend my cousin’s army armour unit parade. Which is surprising, really, because I rarely give up my sleep for anyone. Still, as I dragged myself out of bed this morning, I realised he was not just anyone. He once slipped on a banana skin while I stood at the side and cried. He was two. I was much older, but didn’t like the sight of blood very much. We had good memories.

So I went.

I don’t really know what to say, except to say that I am very proud of him, and that I feel very old. After much wolf whistling (he won an award) and boring long speeches, he was ready to book out. While I was searching for something inspirational or encouraging to say, he blurted: “Thank you for coming. Eh by the way howoldareyouah?”

I could have been 27 or 104, and it wouldn’t have made a difference because I knew he was not going to remember. Nonetheless, he seemed to have something to say, so I decided to let him guess my age.

“I’m twentyseven.” I finally said, amused. “Oh. I thought you were twentythree!” he replied. “You mean you’re twentyseven?!” he asked again, his voice quivering and his face giving way to shock and horror.

Then, just as I am about to punch him in the face, I remember that we were still within the confines of an army camp and that he had just won an award for being the best bazooka shooter. Or something. So there.

So I didn’t get around to kicking his shin, but he later revealed that I had caught the attention of his platoon mates (who were at least a good 8 years younger than me) and they were asking if I was his girlfriend AND I SAID YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME HOW DO I EVEN LOOK NINETEEN?!

Still, I might get him to retell this story when I turn thirty. WHO KNOWS? I MIGHT ACTUALLY LOOK 21 THEN. I CANNOT WAIT.